Aesthetics as I see it

Save me…

It gets….depressing.

I used to love photos. really. and I know I still love looking at excellently photographed images including those rough, unpolished and unprofessional shots as long as it has 1) a story to tell/a message to give or 2)a lot of feelings in it(photogs would know what that means..I think)

Now that I’m now a full fledged member of the society and spare time is scarce, I am now depressingly wondering, where did that passion went? I mean, looking at photos is nice and all but taking them yourself is the best.

Was that just a phase?the “in” and “hipster” way to do? or just…I’ve grown…lazy over it? or, to give my self some consolation and bargaining excuses, I’m just too busy.

I never owned a SLR or DSLR. I’ve borrowed one but borrowing can only get you so far. All I had was an old point-and-click digital camera that I named “Vanilla”(a gamer and photographer would understand the meaning of the name…I hope)

But that didn’t stopped me to take photos in which I can objectively label as good photos. I was always the deep thinker when it comes to photos and a lot of frustration would surface when the product does not reflect the theory.

The world is beautiful. but most people only see the superficial beauty. I really want to take photos that would make people think, reflect and see what is really Elegant and Breathtaking. I am still to fulfill that desire.

And yet here I am stumbling in a wall that, in theory, is easy to overcome.

I am my limiter. and it pains me that even though I know it, I don’t do anything about it. that makes me a hypocrite and that is the best insult that you can throw at me.

this coming 12.21.12 I would attempt to get in tune with my self and all of creation. riding the waves of change and transition. diving in to the sub and unconscious and understanding the I. and maybe I’d…no.. I’m sure to find the drive to take pictures again when that happens

screw you

I think I still love you after all this time after all.

If we cannot be together still, then I’m okay with just treasuring our memories together no matter how ambiguous it may be.

I’m okay with just living in those memories. but don’t get me wrong, I would still build my life and my own path. Just no more romance. because all the romance I need is you